Tween Lit Tuesday Baby-Sitters Club #12: "Claudia and the New Girl" vs Pen Pals #1: "Boys Wanted"

Guys… I chose poorly.

Get better ghost writers

I picked Babysitters Club because I loved their pro-girlfriends attitude and how much they love each other as opposed to the constant backstabbing in SVH. I picked a Claudia book because I figured that it would include some delightful outfit descriptions and (let’s all agree) THE BEST perspective on the meetings.

The problem is that this whole book is about how Claudia meets this super-serious, highly trained artist gal and starts spending time with her instead of the BSC. And rather than be hurt, but understanding of her pursuit of this other interest and excited about the extra jobs, they VISCIOUSLY turn on her. AND the only outfits we get described in detail are lame artist Ashley when she’s picking out fire hydrants to sculpt because it’s so “squat and noble” (this after rejecting a squashed soda can and a spit out piece of gum). Claudia went to an ART GALLERY and didn’t even describe what she was wearing. Weak. Sauce.

The BSC fight and that’s OK, but they generally don’t make up rhymes about how much they hate each other and leave mean notes all over each other’s rooms. I got the worst ghost writer to ever write about the sitters and for that I am sorry.

Notes: The one good part is when Claud has to explain to her friends that while their love and support mean the world to her, sometimes you do have to hear praise and/or critique from someone IN the field you’re interested in.

Outfit Attempt: “(Ashley) was wearing a long, all-the-way-to-her-ankles dress with three rows of ruffles at the bottom. A strip of black cloth was tied around her head… I admit it, she looked a little bizarre.” Aight…

I am not into dressing like Ashley and her stupid gd ruffles. My face illustrates this.

To make it up to you, I am also including a recap of the Pen Pals book 1. Because A. Though written for a younger set this is already better than Sweet Valley High and B. It is practically pornographic with outfit descriptions.

Pen Pals #1: Boys Wanted!

What I remember about it from when I was young: Nothing. I read a few books in the series, but not The One That Started It All.

What I know now:  I’m glad I’m not a damned teenager anymore.

So, Lisa (artsy, and dramatic), Shannon (shy, writer, sad sack), Amy (musician and athlete) and Palmer (Blanche Devereaux as a young girl) are suitemates in suite 3d of Fox Hall at Alma Stephens School for Girls. Though they don’t agree on much, they all pretty much decide that they’d like some male interaction. So they decide to run an add in the paper for the nearby all-boys school looking for pen pals. They use the codename the Foxes of the Third Dimension (because of their room/hall) and eagerly await.

Soon they find out that they haven’t gotten any letters back because headmistress Miss Pryn is looking to get to the bottom of the mystery and shut them down. They fess up, but it turns out that she was only suspicious and strict because she thought they were trying to start a sorority or secret society and she didn’t want them excluding or hazing anybody. GO MS PRYN! Alma Stephens: 1, Sweet Valley High: 0. She thinks that some letter-writing and co-ed mingling isn’t the worst thing ever.

So the gals pick out four suitemates called the Unknown and each start writing one. Lisa’s seems to be a rugged outdoorsy type named Rob and is thoroughly OK. Shannon’s goes by Mars and describes himself as a God, which Palmer points out is probably just a play on his nickname. Amy gets Simmie Randolph the III whose spelling is pretty bad (which is fine) and clarifies that he’s named after his father. Thanks, bro. Palmer gets John Adams a “jock and a  poet” and immediately wants to trade. Kind of shallow, but as someone who wrote poetry in high school, I can’t say I blame her. Plus, get a load of this one:

“This arch age
Over the mushroom sky
Roars with muzzled discontent
Tricked by rates of percentage
Until we are mortgaged
Ragged souls, sons of
Energy Wasted, spilled in the
Deep Ocean, but not deep enough” (tortured)

Yikes. Have fun Palmer.

They decide to send pictures of themselves to their pen pals. Lisa wears a red turtleneck and a pocket watch around her neck, Palmer a blue lace dress, Amy a black jumpsuit (Amy always wears black) and Shannon a pink dress that she hates and a load of insecurities. Shannon occasionally breaks out AND she has a gorgeous, popular older sister. The other girls are always quick to tell her how pretty she is and that it’s all in her imagination, but she’s just never having it. She’s unhappy with her photos because she has a pimple and at the last minute she panics and sends a picture of her hot older sister instead.

The boys are down to meet up at a dance, though the girls still don’t know who they are meeting. Lisa dresses in a peasant in a “daring” off the shoulder shirt and a long patchwork skirt, Palmer is She-Ra, Princess of Power, Amy is Joan Jet and Shanon dresses as an astronaut to hide her face because she’s afraid her pen pal will hate her! There are a few costume mix-ups, but they eventually find their correct pen pals. Rob is pretty hot, Simmie Randolph III is the hottest piece ever, John is “not disgusting” to Palmer and has red hair and great muscles and Mars has dark hair and “fiery” eyes. He and Shanon are hitting it off to the point that she doesn’t want to hide anymore. He doesn’t realize anything is even amiss until she takes her hair down and he realizes it isn’t blonde (see, she actually DOES look like her sister), then he gets mad, assumes it’s a prank and storms off. But they make up for literally no reason, he just decides he’s not mad anymore and all the girls have pen pals now. Hurray!

Notes: I feel like for fluffy tween girl fodder they got some things pretty right in this book. The girls’ interests and talents aren’t QUITE as one-note as they sometimes are (the punk/metal gal is also into team sports) and they don’t automatically excel at them. Amy is said to be a proficient guitar player, but doesn’t have a good enough voice to stay in chorus, Lisa is naturally athletic, but a bit lazy and doesn‘t work at it. They are very supportive of each other (they bolster Shanon up CONSTANTLY in this one), and I sort of like that none of the girls are particularly close to Palmer, but they make an effort to get along with her due to proximity. And I made fun of the fight for just disappearing, but that kind of happens.

Outfits: Lo, the outfits. They describe them every day. I won’t include all of them, but peep this: “… they took full advantage of the relaxed dress code. The bike pants Lisa had chosen for herself were bright pink her bright orange sweater decorated with hot pink sequins was set off by a long purple muffler wrapped several times around her neck. Amy had traded in her clunky shoes for some black cowboy boots; she was wearing a black bodysuit and a Grateful Dead T-shirt. Palmer was dressed like a naturalist in a tweed pants suit, a wide-brimmed hat and rubber soled shoes”

So much to choose from I could hardly narrow it down. So here is my take on Palmer’s “naturalist”-wear, Lisa’s red top and pocket watch and default Amy-wear.

I'll see your wide-brimmed hat and raise you a ceiling fan sprouting from my head! I wish I had a tweed suit. Pants will have to do.

The weird shorts are because they often make reference to Lisa wearing knickers and colorful tights or socks. It's too hot for tights.

Black on black on black.