And by "this" I mean "the fact that I have a blog".
Do we still blog in 2021? I guess we must because occasionally a post works its way onto my newsfeed, but they definitely aren't as much a part of daily internet browsing as once they were. But the format fits my tendency to ramble so I always find my way back to it.
So, why now? Well, because there's a pandemic on, my head is full to bursting on any given day. Because I am making efforts to reclaim parts of myself that haven't been lost to depression and despair and having some account of that besides my own journals is a good thing. Because what else are we doing right now?
I've always had a love/hate relationship with the concept of New Year's resolutions because self-improvement shouldn't require a date, but on the other hand all self-improvement attempts are to be commended, so I root for people to succeed in them. This particular journey for me started up in late November, but for the sake of simplicity I'm just going to call these little goals resolutions.
I'm trying not to set hard, specific goals because it creates too many opportunities to decide I've failed and abandon the whole thing all together. I know this to be true. I've seen me do it. But here are some small changes that have improved my (admittedly currently very bad) headspace over the last few months.
1. Try to do morning pages and journal every day. Hand writing things out is a good way to wake up my brain and make me think through whatever is bothering me.
How is going? I think I miss about 2-3 days every month, but I'm holding steady with this so far and it has actually helped me avoid some conflicts, so there you go.
2. Try to run/walk two more miles a week than I normally do. It forces me out of the house more and makes me move, which is always good.
How is it going? Well. Maybe really well. Because I have friends who join me sometimes I get some really good conversation out of it and it helps me go further. Have definitely exceeded expectations there.
3. Pick up three pieces of trash a day. Tupelo is full of selfish slobs who drop trash everywhere. Whoops. I would like to make that less obvious to anyone driving down a residential road so I'm trying to slowly chip away at the amount of garbage.
How is it going? The chipping is slow because it's one person picking up and a lot of people littering, but I have super surpassed my goal and Robins Street is looking less shitty. I've filled two kitchen bags of throw-away trash and one with recyclables so far. And I found sixteen dollars.
4. *** **** *** **** ** **** ***** *** ****** * ****** * ***. Look nobody should know everything that you're working on and are capable of. That's just good sense.
How is it going? Honestly better than expected.
5. Work on mindfulness/awareness. I've spent more time mentally adrift in the past few years than I'm happy about. I'm trying to change that.
How is it going? Not bad. I do fairly simple things like make myself to do simple things with the opposite side of my body than I usually do (brush my teeth left handed, cross my right leg over the left, hold the dog leashes in my right hand, etc. I also make a note of when and where I see the pets when I pet them. If I ask myself at the end of the day where I petted (pet? What is the past tense of pet? I ain't opening another tab right now) Digby and can't answer that then I either wasn't giving him the attention he deserved or giving myself that and either one needs to be addressed.
6. Dance to one song a day. Got to have fun.
How is it going? There are days when it starts out feeling like work, but usually by the end I'm having fun.
7. Stick with the theme. Each week I pick a positive word. Maybe it's "clean" and that means that every day I need to thoroughly clean one thing (beyond dishes and other daily maintenance). Maybe it's "strong" and I have to remember to try a new exercise or use more weight. Maybe it's "kind" and I blow it because I lose my temper on social media, but I try to make up for it by donating stuff.
How is it going? Fine. I'm giving myself a lot of flexibility on this because it's so vague, but it is good to have a keyword in your head before you act.
So that's what I'm doing. If you are looking for little ways to improve your mindset I definitely recommend small daily goals (do a few squats and pushups) vs a large goal in the undefined future (reach this pant size), these have served me well, but the same things that make me feel grounded and useful might not make you feel that way.
2020 was awful. 2021 has been awful so far, but it doesn't have to be.
